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Like a happy and supportive hygeinic software user, I found this notice about updating my Mac Office Software and dutifully downloaded the update.
Microsoft Office 2004 for Mac 11.4.0 Update - The Unofficial Apple Weblog (TUAW)
After much hard drive whirring, I was treated to this dialogue box:

When I read the “ReadMe” it said to figure out which version of the software I was running. I did that, and oh, I may not have updated the last 2-3 updates. So I went and downloaded those. Same process. Same dialogue box:

(actually it’s not really a dialogue, it’s one-way communication).
5 updaters later, there is no upgrading happening here. Can’t a combo updater be produced? I don’t understand what the purpose of creating an updater is if no one can actually use it.
At this point I only use Micrososft Office to open others’ documents. And that’s becoming rarer and rarer. Hello iWork.